Movie Title: The Descent
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You’ve got a pretty tight group of girlfriends. You’re a pretty tough girl yourself. You do a lot of adventurous stuff that usually includes mostly just your girlfriends.

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After a year’s hiatus due to a terrible family tragedy, you decide it’s time to hook up with your girls and shake the bad memories on a spelunking outing.

You head to a remote area of the Appalachian Mountains to some charted caves recommended by a spelunking guide, according to one of your group members. You embark with 6 friends into the caves from the highpoint in the mountain…down…down…down through the bowels of the mountain in search of an exit at a lower point.

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Then two of a plethora of bad things happen. A tunnel that you came through is sealed off leaving you only one way to go…down. And your partner reveals the reality that a guide didn’t recommend the caves at all; she thought it would make the excursion more adventurous in unexplored caves. There is no charted way out.

Think that’s a problem? How about shining your light down the next tunnel where you see an eerie human-ish looking figure crouched in the dark peering back at you?

The Descent has chills. There’s high suspense. It goes without saying that there are good old fashioned jump-out-of-the-dark scares (they are in a cave!). No special effects needed here to generate excitement. The creatures are well designed and scary.

The story flows very well. The acting is better than the average Horror flick. And Director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers) keeps a better than average flow of twists and turns coming.

Do indeed see it if you’re into the genre. The Descent is one of the movies on my Amazon Listmania List, “15 Flicks Guaranteed To Leave A Permanent Impression”.

Note: The US theatrical version had a lame ending compared to the original UK version. The US DVD release gives you the option of which ending you’d prefer to view. Go with the original.

I’m not typically accustomed to going “gaga” over horror films. It’s not that I don’t like them, I love them–but truth be told, it’s hard to find genuinely good ones. I’m entertained by lots of the gory, splatter films that have recently dominated the box office. Usually, however, it’s a matter of accepting the limitations within these films and getting whatever enjoyment you can out of the scenarios. It’s been a very long time since I thought of a current horror movie as a 5 star event, so nothing could have surprised me more than “The Descent.”

The preliminary setup is a good one. Our heroines begin to explore some unknown, uncharted cave systems and quickly become trapped. Now our ladies must use their resourcefulness and intelligence to try to get out. The dynamics start to play out between the women–good and bad–and a real fear for survival starts to set in. We are squarely in a man versus nature psychological thriller atmosphere. It recalls for me “Open Water”–a film whose horror is about helplessness and being stranded, not about sharks.

But just as soon as I was sure where I was headed, the rug was pulled out. The last third becomes a monstrously bloody battle for survival. It is so well choreographed, I was sucked in wholeheartedly. And far from being victims–our heroines exhibit intelligence, brutality, resilience, loyalty and a real survival instinct. We’ve got some real female empowerment going on! For pure horror, this film goes out with a real bang.

I was completely blindsided by this one. There’s a good screenplay, a credible backstory, appealing actresses, great cinematography and nice effects.

“The Descent” may not be the “best” movie I see this year–but as a pure adrenaline rush, I promise you it will be one of my favorites. KGHarris, 12/06.

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]]> http://janice5897238.welovejc.com/2010/02/07/stream-the-descent-online/feed/ 0 http://janice5897238.welovejc.com/2010/02/06/stream-roseanne-the-complete-ninth-season-online/ http://janice5897238.welovejc.com/2010/02/06/stream-roseanne-the-complete-ninth-season-online/#comments Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:52:36 +0000 janice5897238 http://janice5897238.welovejc.com/2010/02/06/stream-roseanne-the-complete-ninth-season-online/ Stream Roseanne: The Complete Ninth Season Online.

Movie Title: Roseanne: The Complete Ninth Season
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Many people did not like the ninth season of Roseanne, but in its totality, I found it fascinating. The main problem was that it was clumsily written and directed, and that is mainly why I am giving it three stars. Let me warn you there are SPOILERS AHEAD.

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The season opens with Roseanne having retreated to Jackie’s house after a tremendous fight with Dan over lifestyle changes he will have to make for the sake of his health. He is in complete denial, and she lashes out in fear of losing him to a second heart attack. She spends the day parked on Jackie’s couch, watching TV and fantasizing about the various sitcom couples that she watched as a child. At the conclusion of the episode, Roseanne and Dan reconcile, Roseanne returns home, and Jackie watches the announcement of the winning state lottery numbers. Much to her surprise, she and Roseanne have won the 108 million dollar Illinois state lottery. This is where the series begins to make a slow turn from the show you have become accustomed to into something that resembles “Absolutely Fabulous, Midwest Style”.

The next major plot development is the cutting of the final rope that has been tethering this show to its former incarnation – the presence of John Goodman as Dan. Thus, in “Honor Thy Mother”, Dan decides that with his newly found wealth he should try to see if something more than just “warehousing” can be done for his institutionalized mentally ill mother, and he takes off to a clinic in California to see to this task.

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With Dan away from home and all the money in the world at her disposal, Roseanne takes the show on a series of fantasy episodes. First, the late Jim (”Ernest”) Varney stars as a prince who becomes enamored of Jackie after seeing her on TV and comes to town to woo her, then Jackie and Roseanne enter an expensive, exotic, and very oddball spa where they are subject to all kinds of torments that are supposed to invigorate body and soul, but just seem plain silly in many ways. The Halloween special makes clear what the audience has suspected all along – that Jackie and Roseanne have morphed into “Absolutely Fabulous”‘ Patsy and Edina, with the real stars of that show guest starring. Next, the Conners are invited to spend a weekend with the wealthy Wentworths on their Cape Cod estate. Apparently the Wentworths use pill-popping and overindulging in alcohol as a means of dealing with their personal problems rather than just “letting it out”, and Roseanne is more than happy to teach the family how to release their anger. Quite frankly, the fine art of temper tantrums is one thing I’ve always felt the uber-rich had down pat.

Next is an episode so bad that it is seldom shown in syndication, and has me asking “What WAS Roseanne thinking?” Of course I am talking about “Roseambo”. Seriously, this episode is “Ed Wood” bad. The villains in this episode are an ethnically diverse bunch, and yet they all have the same fake accent. There are two good jokes in this episode. The first is when the subservient middle-eastern women mumble through a choker and scarf and the subtitles don’t match the mumblings. The second good joke was when Roseanne was using such weapons as a set of hot rollers, dispensing with the terrorists one by one, and spouting parodies of action-movie tag lines such as “Avon calling!” after kicking down a door.

This ends the fantasy sequence part of the season, and the rest of the season is back in Lanford. The Thanksgiving episode is more oriented around family relationships, and thus there is an up-tick in quality. At Thanksgiving, Bev, Roseanne’s mother, makes a startling revelation about her sexual orientation. It doesn’t make much sense that Bev, divorced for several years, financially secure, and whose romantic trysts with men have been the subject of several shows in the interim, would come to such a self discovery in her 60’s or have been afraid to admit this fact about herself until this point. I think it would have been better to concentrate on the other announcement of this episode – that Leon and Scott are planning to adopt – and focus on the hardships and road-blocks that abound when they set off on that road.

Next, in “Home for the Holidays”, Dan returns to be home with the family at Christmas. There are happy moments – the Conners finally burn their mortgage – but at the same time, Dan seems uneasy and somewhat distant around Roseanne. At the conclusion of the episode we find out why, when Jackie overhears Dan on the phone talking tenderly to “another woman” – the nurse who is taking care of his mother in California. The next three episodes deal with the fallout of Roseanne finding out about the affair, confronting Dan about it, and mourning what seems to be the end of her marriage when she locks herself in her room and goes on a junk food binge. Although I really enjoyed these episodes as something that any woman who has been dumped for another could relate to, I found Dan’s actions to be completely out of character. Perhaps that is the point – maybe Dan stayed by Roseanne’s side through very bad times because he didn’t really have any broader horizons in life, and now that he knows that he has alternatives he is taking them, or at least flirting with them.

After a very mundane two-parter in which Roseanne uses her wealth to help rescue the Wellman Plastics factory that she and her sister worked in during the first season, come two of the season’s best episodes. First, in “A Second Chance”, Dan returns to Roseanne in an attempt to start over. The couple’s reunion is cut short when Jackie calls with news that Darlene has gone into early labor. “The Miracle” is one of my all-time favorite episodes of Roseanne. All medical intervention possible is used to stop Darlene from going into labor, but she does so anyway, and delivers a baby girl that even the medical experts Roseanne has retained say is too premature to survive. The episode shows us two things to which we are unaccustomed – David being strong and Darlene being overtly loving, vulnerable, and selfless. It’s truly great and yet heartbreaking seeing the two being a normal loving couple comforting each other and grieving over the probable loss of their child.

The next three episodes – “Roseanne-Feld”, “The Truth Be Told”, and “Arsenic and Old Mom” are light-hearted comic romps that are OK but ultimately forgettable. However, the two-part series finale is excellent. It starts out somewhat slow, the premise being that the Connors and their friends are gathering for a celebration as Darlene and David bring their baby home from the hospital. But in the final ten minutes, through Roseanne’s monologue, we learn that what we think we are seeing and have been seeing for the last seven years is actually a novel written by Roseanne based loosely on the truth. All of the characters do exist, but not as they have been portrayed in the show/novel. We also find out that Roseanne has recently experienced a horrendous personal loss rather than a tremendous financial windfall. This loss has caused Roseanne to throw herself into finishing her novel in the basement office that her family first set up for her at the conclusion of season two, where she hatches the state lottery storyline as a conclusion to the book she has been working on for seven years. We then see her finish her novel, put it aside, go into the living room that has the same drab furnishings from the previous seasons, and sit down to watch TV – alone. It was all very touching.

I guess since I have been hypercritical of more than a few of the individual episodes, some might wonder why I am giving this season a three star rating. I actually did not like this season during its initial run, but on repeated viewings it has grown on me. Standing all by itself it would truly be dreadful. However, you have to remember that by the conclusion of the eighth season, just about every issue between the various Conner family members had already been tackled and the show had become stale, so that there were really only two options – end the show at that point, or take it in an entirely different direction, which is the choice that was made. Thus, taken in contrast with the previous eight seasons, and especially the very mundane eigth season, I really liked the ninth season for the chances it took.

You also have to look at this season in the context of Roseanne’s actual life. By the ninth season, the show had gradually been losing that genuine quality of a real working-class family for a couple of seasons at least in part because, by 1996, Roseanne herself had not been living a blue-collar lifestyle for over a decade. Thus it probably became increasingly difficult for her to inject something into her work that was becoming a distant memory for her. It was probably much easier for her to do something she knew – play a woman with a blue-collar background who comes into sudden wealth. I’m subtracting two stars mainly because the production quality could have been much better even given the exact same storyline. There should have been more effort put into the delivery of lines, and some episodes came off as unrehearsed and hurriedly thrown together. Plus, it really saddened me to see Laurie Metcalf’s character of Jackie change from a delightful bundle of unpredictable neuroses into a sidekick with a Barney Fife-like quality. You have to ask yourself, though, do you actually believe that people would still be talking about this show if it had gone out with a whimper after its eighth season instead of taking the bizarre turn that it did in its ninth and final season? I seriously doubt it. Thus, I do recommend this DVD set to any Roseanne fan, especially if you are familiar with the previous eight seasons. Just prepare yourself for more than a few cringe-worthy moments of TV viewing.

I loved “Roseanne” because it was such a funny and realistic sitcom. There has never been a TV show that has portrayed such a true American family. My family was just like the Connors and I am certain there were millions of families just like this around the country. Why was Roseanne so shocking? This was the first time an actress had total creative control over her show. There wasn’t a man telling Roseanne what to do. She set her own rules. Then she broke every one of them!

In my humble opinion “Roseanne” peaked in Season 5 (1992/1993 season, when Becky left.) The shows during that season were so on the money because everyone could relate to Roseanne’s problems. I especially loved the show when Roseanne’s father passed away; it was so funny but also very touching. And the one with Loretta Lynn was so funny.

It seems like after Season 5 all the eps of “Roseanne” were downhill. There were some excellent shows after that, but with each passing season “Roseanne” got progressively worse.

Roseanne is as American as Apple Pie, but what’s up with Season 9??? By Season 9 “Roseanne” was horrid. I can’t name a single ep from this season that is halfway edible. They are all so incredibly unfunny, uninteresting, boring and rather painful to watch. All the storylines were pointless because by now I (like many die-hard/loyal viewers) lost interest in the show; but I never lost faith in Roseanne.

Besides Rosey and her family, my favorite character was Nancy. Sandra Bernhard was the perfect actress to play Nancy Bartlett because who else can look and sound more trampy than her? Nancy was a kook but she also had a very sweet side to her; this was only revealed if you looked very closely. Unfortunately, Nancy was rarely seen by Season 9, though. I remember reading that Roseanne was angry that Sandy discussed one of her failed marriage on a late-night talk show. Maybe Roseanne was punishing Nancy by confining her to the same purgatory that banished Crystal Anderson-Conner from the show?

I was never crazy about Leon Karp (Martin Mull) and Scott (Fred Willard.) They were in way too many shows during the last season. Why? No one was interested in these two. And they were such a cliche of what people think the typical middle-aged [...] couple is; but they were never even remotely funny. And, I never understood why Roseanne always tried to go out of her to way to include [...]-themes on her show. This show is based on her own life. In her personal life Roseanne doesn’t associate with [...] people and she is far from being a [...] icon. She is just a domestic artist that was able to turn her life into something very funny and amazing.

The last episode of “Roseanne” was a special hour-long program. There were a few good scenes on the last show. I liked that Roseanne included all of her supporting cast (not just the main stars) in the last ep. Because it added a touch of realism and closure. Of course in syndication and on Nick @ Nite these last 2 eps are butchered beyond recognition.

Here’s all the eps from Season 9:

Call Waiting 9/17/1996

Roseanne goes on a spiritual journey in front of the TV, after walking out on her husband.

Millions from Heaven 9/24/1996

The Connor family wins the lottery.

What a Day for a Daydream 10/1/1996

The Connors go on Jerry Springer.

Honor Thy Mother 10/8/1996

Dan leaves to take care of Audrey, his mom.

Someday My Prince Will Come 10/15/1996

Jackie’s Prince (played by the late “Earnest” star Jim Varney) whisks everyone away to NY.

Pampered to a Pulp 10/22/1996

Jackie and Roseanne go to a spa.

Satan, Darling 10/29/1996

Foolish Halloween ep.

Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti 11/12/1996

The gang all visit the snobbish Wentworths.

Roseambo 11/19/1996

Rosey battles terrorists.

Home is Where the Afghan Is 11/26/1996

Roseanne misses Dan during Thanksgiving.

Mothers and Other Strangers 12/3/1996

Bev visits Nana-Mary to find out who her real father was (this is such a pathetic storyline!)

Home for the Holidays 12/17/1996

Dan comes home for Christmas and seems a little distant and cold.

Say It Ain’t So 1/7/1997

Dan reveals to Roseanne that he was more than friends with one of Audrey’s nurses (another pathetic storyline!)

Hit the Road, Jack 1/14/1997

Roseanne drives around Landford in her new Benz drowning her sorrow in fast food.

The War Room 1/28/1997

Everyone is concerned when Roseanne takes to her room and won’t come out.

Lanford’s Elite (1) 2/11/1997

Rosey meets Edgar Wellman, Jr. at a first-class party.

Some Enchanted Merger (2) 2/11/1997

Roseanne develops an attraction to Edgard Wellman, Jr.

A Second Chance 2/18/1997

Roseanne and Dan try to fix their marriage.

The Miracle 2/25/1997

Darlene gives birth.

Roseanne-Feld 3/4/1997

Bev introduces Leon and Scott to her new lesbian-lover, Joyce. Meanwhile, Jackie and Mark go to a wrestling match.

The Truth Be Told 3/18/1997

Producers from network and cable channels want to do a movie about Roseanne.

Arsenic and Old Mom 5/13/1997

Audrey, Dan’s mom makes a rare visit to Landford.

Into That Good Night (1) 5/20/1997

Darlene brings the baby home from the hospital.

Into That Good Night (2) 5/20/1997

Everyone celebrates the birth of Darlene’s & David’s baby. Roseanne reflects on her life and family.

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